Prologue: Cyclists are like fishermen. Their lies only get longer and bigger. I am the exception to that rule. I'll give you the truth and nothing but.

"Good ride," Sean announces back at the Southway boat launch.

"That was a great ride," Dean confirms.

It was a rare fat tire ride for me. The plan was to ride the 12.5 miles to Steptoe Canyon, climb the canyon and ride into Eleanor's in Uniontown for lunch. We'd take a new rode for us across to Genesee and then down Central grade which comes at on Hatwai Road. Sean had been making noises about extending the ride down Coyote Grade to Lapwai and up one of those nasty hills to the Orchards.

My mountain bike hasn't been out of the garage since last winter when the front tire blew out. Well, except once around the block when I put on those new tires.

I oiled the chain on Friday in anticipation of this Sunday's ride and just before riding down to the boat launch I noticed that both the front and back brakes were rubbing. I adjusted those and thought I was set.

At the boat launch I knew I was wrong. The front tire bounced every rotation. I hadn't gotten the bead seated. And the seat! I felt I was sliding off the nose. I arrived a bit early though Dean was already there and Tamra had already left to join Helen who was starting at Roosters for a jump on us fast guys.

I fixed the front tire but my multi-tool could not fit under the seat because of the elastamer in the seat suspension. Sean's wouldn't either. We ended up removing the elastamer to get at the seat. I thought I was set.

NO. My computer stopped recording before we got to the blue bridge. I stopped and reattached the dangling sender and all was well. I was set.

Arriving late was Bill. He's lost 40 lbs in two months riding his mountain bike and had seen our ride. If it hadn't been for my bike troubles, we'd have missed him. He rode a ways with us toward Steptoe Canyon before turning around. He wanted to know if the ride to Eleanor's and back would be about an hour and a half. I told him it would take that much time just to climb the hill.

No blue in the sky promised a better day. The clouds were dark, ominous, and while a few drops of rain fell, no one suggested cancelling this ride.

When my tires left pavement I knew I was in trouble. "I'm a roadie," I cried. "What am I doing here?" Sean and Dean just pulled away from me. We had given Helen and Tamra too much head start and Sean seemed to take it personally that they had started the ascent before us. Dean felt obliged to keep up. I felt like Steve. So this was the penalty I'd pay for giving Steve a bad time about being slow last Sunday? Where was Steve when I needed him?

Thoughts of despair entered my mind. The few drops of rain weren't bad, but I'd lost interest when I'd lost contact with Sean and Dean. But I kept going. Sisyphus never quit either.

I managed to catch the group which had slowed a bit when Sean caught Tamra and Helen. Sean was giving Helen a push and as the last rider I felt I deserved equal treatment from the ride coordinator. But Sean stoutly refused to accept his responsibililties.

At the top, we stopped to put on more gear. It was really raining now. My glasses had long since fogged over. I had nothing with which to wipe them and so made do with shadowy images. At 95 the rain only grew worse. The traffic threw sheets of water over us.

Fortuantely Eleanor's was open and the fellow behind the bar took pity on us. He offered us the use of the clothes dryer in the back. He gave us all bottles of water saying we shouldn't drink any tap water between Uniontown and Genesee. The food was great and the service was better.

Helen's toes were cold

At lunch, Helen suddenly broke out in laughter. "So that's why I got those looks yesterday when I didn't want to go to Uniontown." She had saved her legs for Steptoe Canyon. Wet, cold and tired from climbing, she had finally gotten the joke.

We got better directions than Sean had and headed out into the light rain. After a bit of trouble we found our route: Esser Road. It is gravel most of the way to 95. The last couple of miles are paved but also have some hefty rollers. My mushroom burger wasn't doing its job. I was feeling a bit weak as we road through Genesee. We stopped at the corner to make a decision about Central Grade or Coyote. There was no decision for me. I was beat and had no interest in climbing out of Lapwai. Helen was with me. Dean complained about his legs from all the climbing he had done in the last couple of days but I knew that he'd go the long way. I knew Sean wanted to and Tamra's eyes lit up at the prospect. thought the sun was peaking through, I said I'd go back with Helen. Tamra changed her mind saying she needed to drive Helen back to Roosters. So, I was saved by Helen.

I won't even go into the screaming I did riding down Central Grade.

Back at the boat launch where the boy's were congratulating each other on how wonderful a day it had been, I was forced to correct them.

"You guys are telling lies to each other. This ride was hell on wheels."

Epilogue: If you want to have this much fun, there's another chance. Don't miss Sean's June 3rd ride with sag support in the Craig mountains. It'll be a great ride. Really.