I applied to Sun Microsystems for a summer internship. It's a very competitive business to get a placement, and I failed to get a second interview. This wouldn't have been so bad, but for the fact that out of 11 people who applied at my uni, 7 of them got another interview. Now I will apply to other companies for a summer placement.

I'm going to have a lot of work this semester. I'll have to study a lot. I have coursework and a class test to think about, but the Sheriff Court don't care about any of that. My plea to be exempted from serving on a jury has been rejected, and now I have to attend court on Monday to beg. There is a chance that I wouldn't even be picked for the jury, but I can't take that risk.

On top of the stress caused by all of this, the first anniversary of my mother's death is fast approaching. Keeping my emotions at bay early in the second semester of last year wasn't as bad as might be expected, since everything was a haze. I'm almost certain that nobody had any idea what had happened, since although I was absent for some of the first week, I attended classes from the day after she died onwards, with normal composure.

This year, if I have to sit on a jury, I'll be worried sick about uni and my mind will wander to more morbid things too. If I go to uni instead, my concentration will no doubt suffer anyway.

Birthdays shouldn't be a bad time. When they're situated not long after such a bad date, getting another year older becomes a depressing notion. The 14th also shouldn't be a big deal, but put everything else in the equation and it suddenly doesn't appeal to me whatsoever.