I had almost completely forgotten about my blog. In a nutshell, this is what has happened since my last post:

I was a bit silly regarding my studies. This is of course an understatement, since I don't seem to do anything by halves, and some stark lessons have been learned.

Some self-exploration has been helpful. That is to say, emotional and mental.

A troubled mind can't be helped if it doesn't want to help itself, and it can't want to help itself if it doesn't realise it needs help. Unfortunately, sometimes it requires a kick to the back of the head to realise that something needs to be done. The occipital lobe might suffer somewhat, however.

Skip forward, and I'm at the point where my 5th year group project is almost complete, I'm preparing for exams and I'm _fairly_ confident of a job offer from an excellent local software engineering company. If all goes to plan, not only will I have learned from some fucking awful mistakes, but I'll also have landed myself in the best possible position to prove myself worthy of possessing this brain.

It's not a bad brain, but I haven't been very grateful of it for the last 6 years prior to this year. I haven't been too grateful of anything in that time, and it shocks me to think of all the opportunities that I've allowed to pass me by in that time. But then, I'm not shocked at my apathy, which was related to underlying reasons. I'm shocked by my unwillingness to deal with the underlying reasons that caused me to throw so much away.

It is down to good fortune that I'm in the position I'm in now. The ball is in my park, but I do wonder if I'll always feel like a fraud for having somehow dodged the bullet.

Two idioms in one sentence. I hope that won't be the only achievement I make in the next two months ;)